Business or Personal?
Partnership is a lot like a marriage. It might even be a little harder.
In my marriage, my wife and I share a lot of great times, we work through a lot of hard times, and we sometimes end up at each other's throats when one of us has been wronged by the other. What makes those times a little easier is that we have years of wonderful experiences to build our relationship on. It is hard for me to really believe that my wife doesn't care about me or respect me when I have a history of her showing how much she cares for and respects me. Similarly, my wife has a history of my love for her so when I'm a jerk, she can quickly realize that I have had a momentary lapse and my love has not changed.
Unfortunately, partnerships have to experience all of the hard times together and almost none of the joyous times together. When things are going well, we often get wrapped up in our individual lives, since two of us have very demanding jobs outside of the restaurant. When things start to fall apart, we have to make sacrifices in other areas of our lives to pay attention to the restaurant, often leading to resentments. It tears us apart.
I realized that compartmentalizing was not working for me. I realized that when it comes to my partners, this business is personal. I have to remember that. We all have a lot riding on this thing. If it doesn't work, we all lose a lot. If it does work, we all stand to gain. For that reason, my decisions don't affect me alone. If I choose to check out and become unresponsive without letting my partners know what is going on in my life, it affects both of them. If I unilaterally make a big decision, it affects my partners. This is where the line between business and personal is blurred. It doesn't just affect them business-wise. I'm messing with their personal lives, both in terms of time and finances.
So the answer for me is, like my marriage, I have to get close to my partners. I need to make their personal needs important to me. I need to stress the importance of my personal needs. I have to communicate. I have to care. I have to love them. I have to care about and love their families. I have to realize that my actions will affect their lives no matter how much I think it is a personal thing. I have to open up. I have to be a friend and let them be my friends.
I wish I could say that I have this whole thing figured out. It is definitely a learning process. I can only pray that we will come out on the other side stronger and closer than before.
In my marriage, my wife and I share a lot of great times, we work through a lot of hard times, and we sometimes end up at each other's throats when one of us has been wronged by the other. What makes those times a little easier is that we have years of wonderful experiences to build our relationship on. It is hard for me to really believe that my wife doesn't care about me or respect me when I have a history of her showing how much she cares for and respects me. Similarly, my wife has a history of my love for her so when I'm a jerk, she can quickly realize that I have had a momentary lapse and my love has not changed.
Unfortunately, partnerships have to experience all of the hard times together and almost none of the joyous times together. When things are going well, we often get wrapped up in our individual lives, since two of us have very demanding jobs outside of the restaurant. When things start to fall apart, we have to make sacrifices in other areas of our lives to pay attention to the restaurant, often leading to resentments. It tears us apart.
I realized that compartmentalizing was not working for me. I realized that when it comes to my partners, this business is personal. I have to remember that. We all have a lot riding on this thing. If it doesn't work, we all lose a lot. If it does work, we all stand to gain. For that reason, my decisions don't affect me alone. If I choose to check out and become unresponsive without letting my partners know what is going on in my life, it affects both of them. If I unilaterally make a big decision, it affects my partners. This is where the line between business and personal is blurred. It doesn't just affect them business-wise. I'm messing with their personal lives, both in terms of time and finances.
So the answer for me is, like my marriage, I have to get close to my partners. I need to make their personal needs important to me. I need to stress the importance of my personal needs. I have to communicate. I have to care. I have to love them. I have to care about and love their families. I have to realize that my actions will affect their lives no matter how much I think it is a personal thing. I have to open up. I have to be a friend and let them be my friends.
I wish I could say that I have this whole thing figured out. It is definitely a learning process. I can only pray that we will come out on the other side stronger and closer than before.
posted by Mat... the uncreative engineer | 6:08 AM
1 Comments:
So this time, I really think God showed me a verse...
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."
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