Ill found confidence
I have a confession. I have no freakin' clue what I am doing. I am a big fake. I do my best to present myself with confidence to my friends, coworkers, and clients, but I am a big mess. Somehow, though, the people I work with have complete confidence in my ability to complete my job and my clients have complete confidence in my ability to get their job done for them. I don't get it.
I have no idea how to run a business. With the help and support of two partners, I'm supposed to take a dream and keep it from making me lose my house... and theirs. I'm supposed to design and build state-of-the-art television studios while the state-of-the-art is changing almost hourly. Most heavily on my mind is how I'm going to design a non-traditional radio studio that will likely be very different than any other studio built. I've never designed a radio studio. I'm not even sure how a radio works.
I guess I just have to take it one step at a time, learn what is necessary to complete the task at hand, and trust that my Creator is going to care for me whether I succeed or fail. I looked for a passage of the bible that would pound home my point, but that would only feed my propensity for being a fake and make people think that I'm more spiritual than I am. Instead, I present my logic. God created all living things. I remember a verse that basically says that if God cares for and provides for simple birds, how much more does he care for those of us who he created to love Him. My trust and faith in God is weak, but I believe Him nonetheless.
That's all I have to say about that... for now.
I have no idea how to run a business. With the help and support of two partners, I'm supposed to take a dream and keep it from making me lose my house... and theirs. I'm supposed to design and build state-of-the-art television studios while the state-of-the-art is changing almost hourly. Most heavily on my mind is how I'm going to design a non-traditional radio studio that will likely be very different than any other studio built. I've never designed a radio studio. I'm not even sure how a radio works.
I guess I just have to take it one step at a time, learn what is necessary to complete the task at hand, and trust that my Creator is going to care for me whether I succeed or fail. I looked for a passage of the bible that would pound home my point, but that would only feed my propensity for being a fake and make people think that I'm more spiritual than I am. Instead, I present my logic. God created all living things. I remember a verse that basically says that if God cares for and provides for simple birds, how much more does he care for those of us who he created to love Him. My trust and faith in God is weak, but I believe Him nonetheless.
That's all I have to say about that... for now.
posted by Mat... the uncreative engineer | 6:37 AM
3 Comments:
Hey Mat,
Just want you to know I have enjoyed your blog. I relate to your comments about ill found confidence. None of us really know what we are doing and yet we live in a "show no weakness","never let 'em see you sweat" world. I struggle daily with trying to be humble before God and man and still being strong enough to provide the leadership I am expected to show. Too often we find ourselves in the position where it doesn't matter if you are right or wrong as long as you are sure. This works for a while in the world but nothing of lasting importance can be built on such a foundation. In the end true humility will triumph.
I see you are reading Dobson. A good choice. Another author I would commend to you is Stu Weber. He has two excellent books for men, Tender Warrior and The Four Pillars of a Man's Heart. Both are an excellent read and good direction for a young man like yourself.
God bless.
Mike
Thanks for the encouragement, Mike. I enjoyed lunch today. In the spirit of humility, I honestly didn't think anyone was reading so I quit looking for comments. Your note has rekindled my interest in seeing if anyone really cares about anything I'm writing here. Thanks again.
Mat and Mike,
Choosing To Cheat by Andy Stanley. This is a book that will tell you that choosing to win at work equals choosing to lose at home. This one is worth a good hard read.
Along with a number of other things cooking right now, books I'm a reading, holy spirit prompts and words from mentors, this book is changing my view on my 19 years of life's work and more importantly about what lies ahead.
MSW
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